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| Wonka, Memories, and Being Free |
| 07.23.05 (4:49 pm) [edit] |
I went to see Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory today with my brother. It wasn't bad and Johnny Depp was very good. My dad rented the original Willie Wonka for me when I was little and I loved that. I thought Charlie was so cute in the original. It made me sad to think about it when I was watching the new one.
I miss my dad so much. I know I sound whiny and who wants to read about another whiny teenager, but Dad was the only decent thing in my life, even if I only got to see him twice a month. I miss him so bad I can't stand it sometimes.
Tonight, Mom is working at the restaurant. My stepdad is a manager at a restaurant and Mom helps out on busy nights. That's how they met. Mom and Dad waited tables at together when they met and kept working together after they got together. But, Mom met my stepdad and threw Dad out when I was seven and then dad died when I was eleven. Anyway, I'm watching my brother and sister tonight, though it doesn't really matter. They don't listen to me anyway. Nobody does.
It was over a hundred today but then this really major thunderstorm hit at dinner time and cooled everything off. I get to use the computer tonight! Woo hoo! You don't know how cool that is. I like the nights when both Mom and my stepdad are working. Even though my rbother and sister are brats, its nice to be free.
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| Excellent! |
| 07.22.05 (11:10 pm) [edit] |
To start off, I should explain the title of my blog. I don't call it excellent because I am arrogant or because I think it's going to be the greatest blog on the web. The title is a tribute to my father who died a few years ago. He was a wonderful father and even though him and my mom split up and Mom got remarried and I got to see him only twice a month, he did everything he could to let me know he loved me and that he would help me.
Dad used to comb his hair down over his eyes and hold up his thumbs and say, "Excellent dude!" like a California surfer dude. It was lame but it was still funny and it made me laugh. Dad is gone now and I miss him and everytime I hear someone say "Excellent" I think about him.
Dad taught me to read and taught me to love books. When he died, I inherited his library. My mom wanted to sell it or give it away or throw it away, but I fought her and won. I have my own room in the back of the house and I built shelves for most of the books. The rest I have boxed in the closet and in the attic. Because of my dad I want to be a writer and a teacher. I want to teach English and History.
I am already working on my first book. The city I live in had a race riot just after World War One. I have been doing research on it and I am going to write a book. I don't have my own computer and I don't get to use the family computer much, so I am doing it all on cards and by hand. But, I am hoping to save up for a rebuilt Dell laptop this shop here has for $300. Then I can write whenever I want.
My dad was the only person who loved me. My mom thinks I am in the way. My stepdad thinks I'm gay and my brother hates me. On the days we got to spend together, we would go to Laserquest or the movie or to the museum. I know the museum doesn't sound like much, but it was cool. Sometimes we went to the Philharmonic or the ballet and every Christmas he took me to see The Nutcracker.
I would like to keep a journal, but I have to do it on paper and Mom goes through everything. With the blog, i can still write down my thoughts and feelings and not worry. But, I am not going to make the mistake this guy named Zack made. He wrote in his blog that he was gay and his parents found out and sent him to a christian concentration camp. I am not going to identify myself. I just want to write my thoughts and vomit up my feelings. I'm not emo or anything. I just want to write about what I feel like.
Last night there was a full moon. My bedroom is a converted storeroom in the back of the house. Its cool because I am away from everyone else and I can be alone. It has a door because it was an outside storeroom- they built a door in the wall to the utility room. Anyway, I can sneak outside at night and sit in the back yard and it was so cool last night. Everything was silver in the moonlight and it was so beautiful. I felt like I was bathed in the light and it cleansed me. I felt alive and clean and pure. I sat out there for a couple of hours and almost went to sleep. I love the full moon.
Well, enough for tonight.
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